Sex and barbarians

 My family, my brothers, my uncles, my grandfather, my dad, all of them sexualized me and most of them raped me several times as a kid. It was no justice for me, no peace, no living, there was only violence. My mother never succeed to help me and I didn't succeed to overcome this storm back then. Drugs and crazy theories, bullying and war against my genitals were some of those took place in daily bas. For 20 years I succeed to not change my sex also, because my brother was furious about me, being a man. Both of my brothers were indoctrinating my mother about how much unfair was that I was beautiful, happy, rich (despite the fact that I was the only who took underwears from the trash can), and how many thing I ought to suffer by them in order to be restored the nature order of things. The other relatives had supported this move in which saw a huge chance to kill me or kill myself. Despite all these my mother truly believed that we are a great family and we are very lucky; and it believed it even more when my father left us at the road while he was throwing at us dishes and other things from the apartment.

School played a significant part also to that war because my parent were terrorising me about it and my father was telling me if I say anything, I will not manage to do anything in life because I won't be at school, the same thing told me my mother without knowing he was raping me. The mason headmaster (from the organization) believed that one too. My relatives who were raping me since I was 2 years old, they were supporting my brothers in every sense to be barbarians.

They were always telling me about the patient of Christ and I was about to burn my skin in hell if I was rebelling against them. Grandad after the mason headmaster's prodding was striving to make me believe water is essential to be forever young and not grow up. In parallel they were trying to calm me down in order to stop fighting them. Desperately, they were telling me as grown men and older than me what to do and how I can make fun, otherwise I would be unable to to do anything to enjoy anything and other desperate collusions. With confusion and violence they were trying to put me in a trouble state thinking, as they were saying, with fantasies. They were all lies every single one.

Wherever you are, good will find you and justice will find you wherever you hide. It doesn't matter laso if you are minority or majority to fight back. 3/10 of underage people in Greece today have been abused as children. In many countries around the world this profile isn't much different. But anyways we must fight. Solely or together it doesn't matter.

Help doesn't matter. Sometimes I believe that God let bad people do all the bad things they wanted to do and they meant to do inside themselves, because for them all these are like a dream. I don't care about this anymore but I can see how things come along sometimes away from what I can do and other times I on control. God let me damage them and punish them, but I'm not longer afraid of God punishing them. I know this don't prevent me for revenge (in the past, people around me like my legal guardians wouldn't let me continue for justice). I prayed, I continue.